silliness ...but not that kind

in case you were wondering, this is what i look like when i cry.
...but these tears were happy ones.

there are people in this world that are silly.

i am not talking about the kind of silliness that makes me giggle with by boys as we play trains on the floor. i am talking about the kind of silly that comes from a mean place. it seems silly that we hurt each other--our brothers and sisters on this mortal journey. it seems silly that he tear each other down.

silliness.

i do it.
you do it.
we are all silly.

but what is the cost of such silliness?

i pondered this as i bawled and bawled last night and into the wee hours of the morning over some silliness--silliness that has me teary even now. silliness that a good pb and j sammie did not even take away. silliness that has driven me to weeping before--not exactly the same, but pretty close.

sigh.
i have to remind myself that it is silly.

then i accidentally click on an anti-adoption site. (stoopid misleading description.) why do people fight against something that brings hope? i may never know. it seems, well, it seems silly.

feeling low this afternoon, i went to nie nie.
she has an incredible way of lifting.
it's one of her gifts.
this post filled my heart with love.
i can survive silliness.
i can be grateful.
i can forgive ...i think.

through my tears last night, i kept repeating to myself advice from elder busche (watch it below), "when someone hurts you so much that your feelings seem to choke you, forgive ...and you will be free again."